Another perspective

Well I got my new glasses today and though I don't need to wear them all the time, I figured I'd 'wear them in', so to speak, so I've had them on for a couple of hours now. The main thing I've noticed about wearing glasses is that you have practically no peripheral vision! It's really disorienting and even though my vision is sharper and clearer when wearing glasses, I'd actually say that my visual perceptive abilities are somewhat reduced. It seems odd to say it, but it's true. I'm finding that I'm so focused on what I can see through the glasses that anything in my peripherals is largely ignored/unnoticed. I can't see how this is a good thing if I ever learn to drive; I'm supposedly short-sighted enough for it to be illegal for me to drive without correction, but if I drive with these things on, I'm going to be a)worrying about what I'm not noticing and b)looking all over the place because of said concern rather than concentrating on the road. It's one thing not seeing something in perfect focus, but at least I'd notice it at all!

Well, here goes...

My first foray into the blogging phenomenon and, much like my acceptance of modern technology from mobile phones to the latest computer games, about 10 years later than everyone else. Still, better late than never, as some say (but then, some people say a lot of things). Some might ask why I'm blogging under a psuedonym (I love that prefix; "psuedo"...it just works with everything: psuedonym, psuedodragon, psuedosausage..or should that be pseudopsausage? Anyway, I digress), instead of my real name of 'Jay'. Others might ask why I'm using a new username instead of the more familiar 'JellyPooga'. None of these people are going to get an answer. Hah! Oh, ok then, it's because I like Jolly Puggles better for online shenanigans...JellyPooga has served me well over the years, but when someone nicknamed it affectionately to 'Jolly Puggles' over on the GitP forums, it just kind of stuck with me and I've been using it since. If you want to go further back into the source of my username you have to go all the way back to when I first signed up to an IM client, so I won't bore you with that tale.

Anyway, now that I'm tip-tap-typing away at my brand new blog what, exactly, am I going to blog about? Some people, I've heard tell, blog about mundane and banal everyday occurences that they think are interesting but few others do. Others have an agenda, whether it be music, film, their work, holidays or whatever. Me? I have no idea. I'm sure something will occur to me as time goes by, but for now, let's just assume that this will be an online journal of my thoughts...not, perhaps, the most original idea, but it's all I've got to go with at the moment. Well. That's not quite true. I'd like to use this to write fiction. I'm no novellist, nor have I ever really written a short story that has reached a wider audience than my english teacher at school. I'm no 'teller either; I'd like to be, but I'll leave that to my sister and my niece. They're better at the whole interfacing with real people than I am. But anyway, I'll leave that for another time. For now, I'll stick with writing whatever comes into my head and hope it makes some kind of sense at the end of it all.

Hmm...let's see now...I think I'll start with something I've come intimately familiar with over the past few weeks and it's becoming increasingly harder to break: laziness. I wanted to apply to join the fire service in York a couple of weeks ago and knew that I needed to get off my arse and get exercising again. Two weeks later, I've been for one run of only a mile and that's about it. I'm also getting up later than I should be, spending far too much time behind my laptop screen and not nearly enough time doing the things I should; applying for jobs, tending the animals, weeding the garden, etc. I'd like to attribute it to largely cutting out caffeine from my diet, but I know it's just me being a lazy bum. The problem is that I don't know how to break this downward spiral.

The last time I was in this sort of situation, I ended moving to London from deepest darkest Wales. It worked for a while, but it didn't last long. The next move was back to Wales and that all went pear-shaped and now I'm back where I started, except it's worse because I'm doing one of the things I said I'd never do; I moved back in with the folks. Sure, it's a convenience; no rent, no bills, but for some time now I've been feeling like a bit of a leech. I had my reasons and it seemed like a good idea at the time, but it hasn't really been working out. I don't hitnk I'm cut out for the self-employed arena. My concern, however, is that if I do the drastic and move somewhere completely different, then there's the distinct possibilty that I'll tire of that place and want to move on again in six months time. It wouldn't be so much of a problem; after all it's not like I'm settling down with anyone nor do I have the money to buy a house, but the fact is is that it'd be nice to actually have some kind of security instead of the desire to continuously move on.

Perhaps that's my problem; I want to move, perhaps continuously, but I don't have the means, or perhaps I'm too scared, to do so. I'm not sure if I'd be capable of survivng on my own, but I doubt even more that I'd find someone to come with me. I don't know if it's because I think differently to other people, but I simply have no desire to settle down, get a job and live the rest of my life like that. I never have. Is it just me being impractical, or should I follow my heart instead of my head? I've always relied on things just falling into place, but it's nigh time I started making decisions of my own rather than letting fate lead me where it will.